LMAO @ Lilith - you could be right! Probably means he can't remember the incident either!

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"Time flies like an arrow -
Fruit flies like a banana"

M Y - N A U G H T Y - P I C T U R E S ! !

I was in a ski lodge with my ex in Killington Vt. We were sipping some schnapps and listening to the piano player. He got us involved with a song called, "Skeeter On My Peter". I had remembered this song from long ago, but he put a twist to it. He'd sing, "There's a skeeter on my peter" and we'd reply, "Whack it off!"

So it went like this...There's a skeeter on my peter, whack it off. There's a skeeter on my peter whack it off. There's a dozen on my cousin, I can hear those bastards buzzin', there's a skeeter on my peter...whack it off.

Then he suggested, "All you guys out there who might go muff diving tonight...yell whack it off". "There's a skeeter on my peter"...all the men replied with exuberance, "WHACK IT OFF"!

Then he said, "All the ladies who might go mustache riding tonight...yell whack it off". "There's a skeeter on my peter"...and I stood up and yelled "WHACK IT OFF" at the top of my lungs. I didn't hear a single soul say it with me. I turned around to face the crowded room and everyone was laughing their asses off. I took a bow...pointed to several of the other ladies there and called them liars...and made my ex stand and take me out of there!

I heard the piano player call for applause for me and he said he was taking a break because he didn't have an encore that could beat that!

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

OMFG!!!!!

Lixy, you made my morning with that one.

Closest thing I can think of to an "Oh no...." for me happened about six years or so ago.

I was in a grocery store not paying a whole hell of a lot of attention to anything but trying to get what was on my list and get the hell out. I was at the deli counter waiting for them to get me my sliced turkey breast (not sure why I remember that is what I was waiting for) when this little old man came up to me and tapped me on the shoulder. He said to me, "Son, the horse. It's trying to get out." I was in my own little world and it didn't really hit me what he meant. I must have had a confused look on my face so gave me a look that told me that I should probably check things out. Well, he was right. The zipper on the jeans I was wearing while changing the oil in my car earlier had apparently decided it was time to stop working. Of course I had chosen that day to go without underwear. Let's just say "it" was clearly visible. And he wasn't the only person who had noticed. Got a nice smile and a nod from a lady also waiting at the deli after he patted me on the shoulder and walked away. I could've died on the spot.

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It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac

Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."

An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"

Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus

Go ahead and kid yourself. He's cherishing that moment!

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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.