i agree wiht flute lady. for me cybering , phone sex (with someone other than my hubby), etc. are more or less off limits. Personally i call it cheating, at least that is the way i would feel about it. But i know for a fact that i can write a mean XXX rated letter to him. Got an ex who still has one of the ones i wrote to him years ago. i mean like we were 16... many years ago. how about telling him you have an itch that refuses to be scratched. he may have an idea or know of something you guys can do to "fix" your little itch.

good luck with it.

Callie