I would imagine that being on the other side of the situation (i.e., having your spouse ask you for divorce because they don't love you anymore) would be unbelievably difficult to accept and get over. Especially on top of her problems with her daughters. I understand that these things happen and that it is not anyone's fault, but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with. I think thats great that you are trying to help her deal with the issues at hand, but I agree with Lou about the possible mixed messages. Perhaps she should be the one going to therapy alone to help her get through these things. If you have made up your mind to finalize the divorce, then I see you going with her to "couples therapy" as maybe giving her a false sense that maybe you will change your mind. I think that the only way you can help is to be there as a supporting friend. Going on dates and accompaning her to counseling would break the boundaries that you are trying to make with getting a divorce. Hope this helps.