I'm not sure I have ever needed to Masturbate at work. Work does not do it for me.

Would you ever run through a lawn sprinkler to cool off on a hot day?

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"In my sex fantasy, nobody ever loves me for my mind."
Nora Ephron

“Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.”
Barbara Bush

"You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither!"
Drew Carey