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It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?

If Clinton is the answer, it must have been a stupid question.

Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.

Math illiteracy strikes 8 out of 5 people.

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A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.