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<lawyer jokes, I love them>

A Yankee lawyer went duck hunting in Arkansas. The lawyer shot and dropped a duck, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly gentleman asked him what he was doing. The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this field. I'm going into retrieve it." The old farmer replied, "Sorry, sonny. This is my property, and you are not coming over here." The lawyer said, "I am one of the best attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you have!" The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things here in Arkansas. We settle small disagreements like this with the Arkansas Three-Kick Rule." The lawyer asked, "What is the Arkansas Three-Kick Rule?" The farmer answered, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up!" The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old farmer, so he agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from his tractor and walked up to the lawyer. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees! His second kick nearly wiped the lawyer's nose off his face! The lawyer was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up! The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old redneck, now it's my turn!" The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck!"