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Throughout history, masturbation has been seen as a great evil, destroying the minds and bodies of youth across the world. Luckily, we're all about destroying the minds and bodies of youth! Heck, around here it's a way of life.

To discourage would-be wackers, authority figures often cite the horrendous side-effects of playing with yourself. How many times have you heard you'll go blind, or grow hair on the palms of your hands? At some point this guy named Tissot published his philosophy on masturbation, including the harmful side-effects of this pleasurable practice. Check 'em out!


Tissot's Top 13 Effects of Masturbation
from the home office in Uptightsville, Idaho

1. Acne
2. Backaches
3. Blindness
4. Constipation
5. Vomiting
6. Decay of bodily powers
7. Epilepsy
8. Gout
9. Infertility
10. Madness
11. Nymphomania
12. Use of profanity
13. Death

__________________
"Only the united beat of sex and heart together can create ecstasy" ~Anaïs Nin


"The full moon is calling, the fever is high.
And the wicked wind whispers and moans.
You got your demons, you got desires
Well, I got a few of my own"
~The Eagles