Pixies Place Forums - View Single Post - And it's Bama with the rebound!!!!!!

I don't believe in "the one" I'm a skeptic. forever doesn't last as long as it used to
I believed in it a long time ago..... but the glass was smaller then easier to fill; now it's less than half full there are days I don't know whats wrong with me. Like spending time with Lord Snow..... I see him every other weekend, lately I have had a hard time leaving dry-eyed for my 120 mile drive home can't sleep sunday night think about him all day monday by weds. I'm usually starting to wonder if I should go back and see him again or if I should just break up with him because I'm afraid he's making a mistake in settling for me at this point in his life, no matter for how long. Thinking about trying to convince him to find a girl closer to his own age and closer to him so they can actually date without him having to go home and sleep with her. I know I'm not healthy and he shouldn't start with someone as damaged as I am. When I feel like I'm starting to care too much my first instinct is to bolt, or press my partner to. By the time I have my next 3 day weekend ( every other) I'll be craving his touch so bad it's almost physically painful but it seems like I'm numb between times.

Although my addiction might have helped with that I buried my discontent with my previous relationship in becoming a pill popper any painkiller or muscle relaxer my mom the sickly one had lots of pretty pills including her Ultram (tramadol) .... taking more than 16 50 mg tabs of Ultram every day lets ya feel almost nothing..... I'm on my 6th night/day without them.the migraines have almost passed. the sad thing is that I'm crashing at my folks' place so it's not like I can throw the pills out so I face the temptation every time I walk past the kitchen....sigh. damaged.