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BIBLE SALES

(If this doesn't make you laugh, just go ahead and close your casket!)

A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very serious

Financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered

Several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed.

So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the

Congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for

$10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.

Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.

The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and

Were likely capable of selling some bibles. But he had serious

Doubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept to

Himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. Poor

Louis stuttered badly. But, NOT WANTING TO discourage Louis, the

Minister decided to let him try anyway.

He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked

With bibles. He asked them to meet with him and report the results of

Their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.

Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately

Asked Jack, "Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our bibles last

Week?"

Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, "Using my sales

Prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here's the $200 I collected

On behalf of the church."

"Fine job, Jack!" The minister said, vigorously shaking his hand. "You

Are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you."

Turning to Paul, "And Paul, how many bibles did you sell of the Church

Last week?"

Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, "I am a

Professional salesman. I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and

here's $280 I collected."

The minister responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are

Truly a professional salesman and the church is indebted to you."

Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said, "And Louie, did

You manage to sell any bibles last week?" Louie silently offered the

Minister a large envelope.

The minister opened it and counted the contents. "What is this?"

The minister exclaimed. "Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you

Suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the church, door to door, in

Just one week?"

Louie just nodded. That's impossible!" both Jack and Paul said in

Unison. "We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10

Times as many bibles as we could."

"Yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister agreed. "I think you'd

Better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie."

Louie shrugged. "I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for

Sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.

Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell

Us what you said to them when they answered the door!"

"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said WA-WA-was," Louis replied, "W-w-w-w-would

Y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible

F-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you

J-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to St-St-stand h-h-here and

R-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you??"