Most important things to remember about Living in Maryland:

1. Baltimore is *not* the state capital, no matter how many times that claim is made by the rest of you.

2. DC is called either "DC or" "The District". Only tourists call it "Washington", or even "Washington, D. C."

3. DC is not allowed to even appear to compete financially with Baltimore sports teams.

4. There is no "T" in the word "Baltimore". There just looks like there's a "T". The word is pronounced "Bal'mer", "Balmer", or more completely, "Balmer, hon'".

5. The mayor of Balmer is destined to one day grow up and become the governor of Maryland.

5. Everything in the country is defined as being "inside the Beltway" or "outside the beltway". By which is meant the DC beltway. The entire state of Maryland, despite appearances, is inside the beltway. All of northern Virginia is, too, despite being in another state entirely.

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