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You're from Texas if...........
1. You can properly pronounce Corsicana, Palestine, Decatur, Wichita Falls, San Antonio, Mexia, Waco, and Amarillo.

2. You think that people who complain about the wind in their states are sissies.

3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.

4. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

5. If you dont like what the weather is like, stick around about 5 min. or so and it will change.

6. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.

7. You use the plastic bags from grocery stores for everything from purses to trash bags.

8. You see people wear bib overalls at funerals and there pant legs tucked into their boots.

9. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.

10. You measure distance in minutes.

11. You refer to the capital of Texas as "Home of the Longhorns." (HOOK'EM HORNS!!)

12. It doesn't bother you to use an airport named for a man who died in an airplane crash.

13. Little Smokies are something you serve only for special occasions.

14. You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.

15. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.

16. You know cowpies are not made of beef.

17. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.

18. You have known someone who has had one belt buckle bigger than your fist.

19. A bad traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down at a four-way stop, each determined to be the most polite and let the other go first.

20. You know which state Miam-uh is in.......and which states Miam-ee is in.

21. You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all in the same store.

22. Your "place at the lake" has wheels under it.

23. A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Chevy Silverado Extended Bed, Crew Cab is.

24. You know everything goes better with Ranch.

25. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.

We southern folks know this is true!

1.) Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption, and that you don't "HAVE" them, -- you "PITCH" them.

2.) Only a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up "a mess."

3.) Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

4.) Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in:"Going to town, be back directly."

5.) All true Southerners, even babies, know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl on the middle of the table.

6.) All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

7.) Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!)

8.) Only true Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be
1 mile or 20.

9.) Only a true Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

10.) No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

11.) A true Southerner knows that "fixin'" can be used as a noun, a verb,or an adverb.

12.) Only a true Southerner knows that the term "booger" can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive, as in "that ol' booger," a first name or something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you senseless.

13.) Only true Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do"queues", we do "lines," and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!

14.) Put 100 true Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.

15.) True Southerners never refer to one person as "y'all."

16.) True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

17.) Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

18.) When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin' .. ," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

19.) Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

20.) A true Southerner knows that if you are with a couple of friends you,could be with 2 or 10. The number doesn't matter.

21.) And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little>> old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way......

Finally, you are 100% Texan if you have ever heard or had this conversation:

"You wanna coke?"
"Yeah."
"What kind?"
"Dr. Pepper."

I know it is long....but we southern folk can be a bit long winded sometime.