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Why is everyone so....willing...and almost eager to just step out of my life? Surely I've never suggested or asked for such a thing. I am learning, however, that some things (and people) just need to be kept separate. It took me forever to figure out that not everyone will "play nice" with everyone else. I was very naive but I am learning. I am becoming a new me although I hope I don't lose the qualities that people like in me. I am learning that it is far better to speak one's mind than to keep everything bottled up. Yes, I know I've been told that over and over.....I just never saw the motivation/need to do so. After doing that for years...look at me. I became a nervous wreck, wanting to please everyone and becoming devestated when it all fell to pieces. My goodness, I've always been the first one to admit that I am not perfect. My wants are simple....I want to be loved by the ones that I love. I want to be happy. I've always been at the end of my rope and perhaps letting go of it is what I really need(ed). I've always worried about every little thing, whether I should or not. I really believe this is one of the reasons that I lost him in the first place (whether he admits/knows it or not). At times, I wish I could see into the future and at times I'm glad I can't. Sorry I keep pouring my heart out here to you guys but...I don't know. I can't just stop talking to him or block him out of my life....it wouldn't solve/fix anything and I really do hope that he and I end up together for the long run. We know that we have a lot of things to work on. I don't know.....I just don't know. The only thing I do know is that I love him....and that I hope that my hopes aren't shattered.