3800

There once was a freshman named Lin,
Whose tool was as thin as a pin,
A virgin named Joan
From a bible belt home,
Said "This won't be much of a sin."

There once was a girl who couldn't shit,
Because she kept playing with 'er clit.
The doctor said 'stop!'.
So she pulled off her top,
And started to play with her tit!

--3801--

There was a man from Nantucket
Whose cock was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin
If my ear were a snatch I could fuck it!

--3802--

There was a young girl from Hoboken
Who claimed that her hymen was broken
From riding her bike
On a cobblestone pike
But it really was broken from pokin'!!!

--3803--

There once was a man from the cape
Who fucked a barbarian ape
The ape said you fool
You fucked up my tool
And put all my arse out of shape

--3804--

There was a young man from Spartar,
Who was an incredible farter.
At the strength of one bean,
He could play "God Save the Queen,"
And Beethoven's "Moonlight Senata."

--3805--

Once a young gay from Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room.
They argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what, and with which, and to whom.

--3806--

A pretty young lady named Vogel
Once sat herself down on a molehill.
A curious mole
Nosed into her hole --
Ms. Vogel's OK, but the mole's ill.

--3807--

There was a young whore from kaloo
Who filled her vagina with glue.
She said with a grin,
"If they pay to get in,
They can pay to get out again too!"

--3808--

There once was a woman named Ann
Who was said to be quite like a man.
When nature did call,
She ran down the hall,
And went to the gentleman's can.

--3809--

On Viagra was old man Muldoon,
When he went on his third honeymoon.
Morning coffee was brewin',
When he started in screwin',
And he finished at twelve o'clock noon.

--3810--

Said the trader, "I'm not pleased one bit,
In our dealings, that you should submit
Your signed IOU
In lieu of a ewe -
I just won't accept that sheep chit!"


--3811--

There once was a girl from Sidney
Who could take it right up to her kidney
But a guy from Quebec
Shoved it up to her neck
He had a long one, now didn't he.

--3812--

I know of a horny boy Matt
Who played with a vampire bat
With his dick in his hand
His voice did command
"Try sucking the blood out of that!"

--3813--

Hickory dickory doc!
In ten seconds you'll be sucking my cock!
So think very quick!
As I whip out my dick!
Hickory dickory doc!

--3814--

There was a young fellow named Simon
Who tried to discover a hymen,
But he found every girl
Had relinquished her pearl
In exchange for a solitaire diamond!

--3815--

There once was a man from Bombay
who made a cunt out of clay
He stuck in his dick,
the thing turned to brick
and he scraped his foreskin away.

--3816--

There once was a man named Sprockett
Who walked with his hand in his pocket
He was able to hide
What he was doing inside
Till he shot off like a Fourth of July rocket!

--3817--

There once was a lady from Nizus,
Who had breasts of two different sizes,
One was small,
and round like a ball
And the other was big and won prizes

--3818--

There was an old man of Duluth
Whose cock was shot off in his youth.
He fucked with his nose,
And his fingers and toes,
And he came through a hole in his tooth.

--3819--

There once was a man from Marcasse
Who had balls fashioned of brass
When jangled together
They played 'Stormy Weather'
And lightning shot out of his ass.

--3820--

There once was a hacker named Ken
Who inherited truckloads of Yen
So he built him some chicks
Of silicon chips
And hasn't been heard from since then.

--3821--

There was a lady from University
Who was the sole of perversity
She was into candles
And all manner of scandals
And sexual positions in diversity

--3822--

here once was a woman from Arden
Who was seen sucking a man in the garden
Her mother said, "Flo,
Where does it all go??
And she said, "Gulp, Beg your pardon?"

--3823--

There was a young woman of Sydney
Who could take it clear up to the kidney
But the thrust of Alphonse
Barely reached to her mons
So he left her unsatisfied didn't he?

--3824--

There was a young man from Saint Paul
Who went to a masquerade ball.
Just for a stunt
He went dressed as a cunt,
And was fucked by a dog in the hall.


--3825--

Said a woman with open delight,
My pubic hair's perfectly white.
I admit there's a glare,
But the fellows don't care
They locate it more quickly at night.

--3826--

There was a young lady from Kew
Who said, as the bishop withdrew,
Oh, the Vicar is quicker
And thicker and slicker
And four inches longer than you.

--3827--

There was a young man from Bellaire
Who was screwing his girl on the stair.
But the banister broke,
So he doubled his stroke,
And finished her off in mid-air.

--3828--

There was a goucho named Bruno
Who said, "about fucking, I do know,.."
That women are fine,
And sheep are divine,
But llamas are numero uno!!!"

--3829--

There was a young woman from Ealing
Who has a peculiar feeling,
She lay on her back
Opened her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling.

--3830--

There was an old man of the port
Whose prick was remarkably short.
When he got into bed,
The old woman said,
"This isn't a prick; it's a wart!"

--3831--

There once was a lass from Wilts
She came walking into Scotland upon stilts
They said "Madam it's shocking
You reveal so much stocking"
She said "Yea, well how about those kilts?"

--3832--

3833

LOL Lovely limericks!

--3834--

OK, that's enough for me this evening... g'night all.

# 3835

We had a total of 678 posts this week.

Not too impressive.

#3836
 

PIXIES "ONE MILLION" THREAD END CALCULATOR
-Toast

start time: 5/9/03 9:59 PM
reply goal: 1,000,000
current time: 6/6/03 11:57 PM
reply count: 3,836

still needed: 996,164 replies
elapsed time: 28 days 1 hours 58.0 minutes

reply rate: 136.6 replies/day
OR 5.69 replies/hour
OR 0.095 replies/minute

time to goal: 10,501,272 minutes
OR 175,021 hours
OR 7,293 days
OR 20.0 years

achievement date: 5/25/23 1:09 PM

#3838

Night everybody