In porn movies, proportion is .... deliciously distorted.



I'd like to see porn that ....

I'd like to see porn that...requires audience participation.


When I fantasize about sex...

When I fantasize about sex... gotta put on my travlin shoes..






Then head right out the door to..............

Then head right out the door to ... her waiting arms.

I know when I get there ...

I know when I get there ...more than her arms will be open and waiting for me.


When we get down to making love...

When we get down to making love... I always make sure she cums first.... and if lucky a 2nd time!

Then we settle down ........

Then we settle down ........to some serious love making.

As I begin to ....

Then we settle down ........to some serious love making.

As I begin to .... leave a trail of kisses down your chest, I inhale...................

leave a trail of kisses down your chest, I inhale...................deeply, savoring the sweet musk of your excited sex.

Using just my tongue...

Using just my tongue ... I teased him unmercifully.

He kept bucking and yelling ...

He kept bucking and yelling ... YEEHAW! I'm a cowboy!

I found paradise in...

I found paradise in...being back in the saddle.




The sunset light was............

The sunset light was ... shining in and blinding me while I was trying to type.

"It's curtain's for you," I said, ...

"It's curtain's for you," I said, ...as I hung the new drapes over the window.

If I said it once, I've said it a thousand times...

If I said it once, I've said it a thousand times... I was blinded by the light.




Now that one problem was taken care of, it was time............

Now that one problem was taken care of, it was time ... to think up another one.

Giving this careful thought ...

Giving this careful thought.... I decided I'd give someone else the chance to win the lottery jackpot this week and I didn't purchase a ticket.



The best part of waking up is..........

The best part of waking up is ... logging onto Pixies.

Tomorrow I'm going to ...

Tomorrow I'm going to ... postpone what I should have done yesterday.

Most women like lengthy ...

Most women like lengthy ... baths in hot perfumed waters.

When it comes to threesomes ...

When it comes to threesomes ... hopefully there's some cum from all three.

One definition of sexual creativity would be ...

One definition of sexual creativity would be ... performing insertion while suspended upside down from the ceiling. :shrug:

For breakfast, I always like ...

For breakfast, I always like ... to have had sex 30 minutes earlier (well, I can LIKE it even if I don't always GET it).

I go to chick flicks because ...

I go to chick flicks because ... of the rooster in me. :)

If there's one thing I love, it's ...

If there's one thing I love, it's knowing that chocolate will always be a part of this world.


Having family visits makes me want to.....

Having family visits makes me want to ... jump up and down and throw confetti all over the house. Right :rolleyes2 .

Going to the doctor ...

Going to the doctor ... means taking a book along to avoid the boredom of the waiting room.

Where I grew up, ...

Where I grew up ... fast food was a measure of how quickly you ate and not where you bought the food.

The best part of sex is ...

The best part of sex is ... the anticipation.


The only problem with masturbation is ...

... your hand doesn't moan with pleasure and it can get tired. :(

Happiness is finding ...

Happiness is finding ... time for a nap.


I often wonder ...

... if I should have become a millionaire instead of just being me. :shrug: :D

Two bits, four bits, six bits, a dollar ...

all for Pixies, stand up and holler! :cheerlead


Barney is a dinosaur ....

Barney is a dinosaur, his mother was an F-ing whore.

The best part of anal sex...

is trusting your partner enough to relax and let go.



The one thing I hate to do is ...

... go back to work after a great vacation!


I think we should all go....

somewhere warm and tropical.


I would love to see ....

... a PAGAN get together with all Pixies present! Wow what a thrill that would be!

When I get hungry ...

... I get cranky.



I would love to try ...

... to ski downhill , but my skies would probably need training wheels :( .

The news always ...