I just hope the ice melts off the driveway and streets before I have to go out.

I never drink wine.

I have 6 girlfriends who all co-habitate with me.

I just traded in my old Chrysler for a new Ferrari.

I'm one of Lafehubert's girlfriends.

My dick is so long I can have sex with girls across the room from me.
:sex:
:shock:

I moved out of my house and into a tepee.

You know how you puncture a tire and it goes flat ... well, I designed a square tire that, when you puncture it, it goes round. :)

I, like Merlin, travel backwards through time.

A new law says that the year will only have three seasons now ... Spring, Summer and Fall.

I cooked up the cat tonight and fed him to the mouse.

I take showers with my clothes on because the washers broke.

Today is "Everyone's a Nudist" in our town and we all have to walk around nude all day.

I hate Vegemite.

I wanna get my sac pierced so many times I have trouble getting through metal detectors.

:shock: