Seeing the look on Mrs. Jay-t's face when we went to the car dealership for her birthday!And came home with an Chev HHR

The mother of my daughter's friend, who was in their front yard with their dog.

"We're working on come training" :yikes:

Realizing that I don;t speak "incompetent" as a language

Dropping Mr Osuche off and having him beg me to help him clear up his angst :D

The class bully getting their very well earned due.

My veggie kid telling me that he will take care of me when the mad cow gets me.

IM1469's hard on response in asile 9.

Mayhem and I were watching a porno clip from youporn last night (Fucking on a Public Bus) and the way that our PC is set up, the arm of the couch is right in front of the monitor screen. Our large grey cat decided that it was a perfect time to sit on the arm of the couch and watch....but that wasn't the funny part. She moved her head round and round whilst the actress's boobs were jiggling in a round and round motion--and then the scene cut to some in out motion and the cat's head went back and forth in time with the in out motion!!!

I died! I laughed so hard tears were streaming out my eye, I couldn't breathe, and nearly peed myself! Mayhem was about in the same shape as I was!

A Board member who wants to go against the grain.

Oh god was i ever

My boss telling me she likes me as a red head.

A great dinner with lots of funny stories

Not really sure why I'm laughing because it actually hurts like a mother but my cat Lou just decided that I needed to have a pierced ear. :yikes:

Being asked point blank what I think about my company's executive management, and dodging the question adroitly.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation...mpkin-tax_N.htm

Oh, I'm so proud to be an Iowan after reading that. :rofl:

my daughter telling me that she kind of believes in god but that god didn't make the earth, cause it's a planet and was made from spinning rocks, or the universe but he did make pluto. see how badly that dumbass change screwed up my kid? :p

The bus I took home from the bar tonight - the driver, who was dressed like a pirate, had decorated the bus with autumn leaves, glowing and blinking pumpkins and orange and black balloons, and gave candy to the passengers!!! It was great! :D

Doesn't she know?



Guys don't read the instructions! :roflmao:

Having a co-worker tell me that he was back to normal....and wondering what "normal" meant.

A puppy named "Uno".......... :roflmao:

From the Media

Die and you're under arrest! Britain's stupidest laws revealed
Posted 5 hours 48 minutes ago
Updated 3 hours 17 minutes ago

Queen Elizabeth II's speech in the British Parliament overnight may have been routine, but at least nobody got bored to death. That would have been against the law.

Dying in Parliament is an offence and is also by far the most absurd law in Britain, according to a survey of nearly 4,000 people by a television channel showing a legal drama series.

And though the lords were clad in their red and white cloaks and ambassadors from around the world wore colourful national costumes, at least nobody turned up in a suit of armour. Illegal.

Other rules deemed utterly stupid included one that permits a pregnant woman to urinate in a policeman's hat and and another that says it is OK to murder bow-and-arrow-carrying Scotsmen within the city walls of York, northern England.

A law stating that in Liverpool, only a clerk in a tropical fish store is allowed to be publicly topless, was also ridiculous, said a poll of 3,931 people for UKTV Gold television.

Nearly half of those surveyed admitted to breaking the ban on eating mince pies on Christmas Day, which dates back to the 17th century and was originally designed to outlaw gluttony during the rule of the Puritan Oliver Cromwell.

The laws and other regulations were culled from published research into ancient legislation that has never been repealed although subsequent statutes have rendered them obsolete.

Respondents were given a shortlist and asked to vote.

Most ridiculous British laws

1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament (27 per cent)

2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside down (7 per cent)

3. In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store (6 per cent)

4. Mince pies cannot be eaten on Christmas Day (5 per cent)

5. In Scotland, if someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter (3 per cent)

6. A pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman's helmet (4 per cent)

7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the king, and the tail belongs to the queen (3.5 percent)

8. It is illegal to avoid telling the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing (3 per cent)

9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour (3 per cent)

10. In the city of York it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow (2 per cent)

Not sure how true, but worth a chuckle.

A nurse telling me that she had just blown my vein and me replying, "Thank you!."

The look on Dean's face when Bela states "you know when this is over we should really have angry sex".....then the self satisfied smirk on his face when he's walking out *LMAO*

Watching my kitty play with his catnip cigar. He really loves that thing!

What the heck, I'll go twice in a row. :p

SOmeone who confused a cat with a powerstrip...well, I guess they both have a similar form factor :rolleyes:

The cat growling like a watch dog as a truck by really slow.

my little one being a luv bug

IowaMan and his stained glass. ;)

My best friend's 5 yr old niece asking why the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders were only wearing their underwear. When she was told that they were wearing white shorts she replied, "Well they look sort of slutty." :yikes:

The cat watching all the leafs blowing by the window and him sticking a paw out trying to catch them.

Shrinkage. :rofl:

This is just too funny!
 

How can you not laugh at this one?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/global/m...ex/nwind106.xml

Lou and his big boy meow.

The last joke in the joke thread and one I got in my email that I gotta figure out how to post.

Realizing that you don't have to pee when 4 of the 5 things you drank all day were alcoholic. :rofl:

I hadn't heard this song in years. :rofl:

http://mywebpages.comcast.net/singingman7777/MSR2.htm

DB's response to me in the "Would you kiss the person above you?" thread in smut games. :roflmao:

Clark Griswold proclaiming, "We're going to have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap danced with Danny fucking Kaye!" Gets me every single time. :roflmao: