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Alright..dirty Limerick time!

There was a young man from Peru,
who fell asleep in his canoe,
while dreaming of Venus,
he played with his penis
and woke up covered in goo.

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The last time I dined with the King
He did a most curious thing.
He sat on a stool,
Took out his tool,
And said, "if I play will you sing?"

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Here's to the girl named Louise
Who's pubic hair hung to her knees
the crabs came together,
and knitted a sweater
so in Winter her cunt would not freeze!

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I know of a horny boy Matt
Who played with a vampire bat
With his dick in his hand
His voice did command
"Try sucking the blood out of that!"

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My dorky ex-roommate Pierre
Once fell asleep in my chair
I pulled out my unit
Proceeded to tune it
And fired my load in his hair

8606
There was young man from Crete
Who could shoot across the street
A chemist named Kelly
Would bottle the jelly
And sell it as 'Extract of Meat'.

8607

There was a young fellow named Simon
Who tried to discover a hymen,
But he found every girl
Had relinquished her pearl
In exchange for a solitaire diamond!

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There once was a man named Bob
He loved to show off his nob
He flashed it at Dave
And rubbed it on Jay
Who sucked it like corn on the cob

8609

There once was a woman named Jess
Bisexual, she would confess
She loved a good dick
but pussy she'd lick
and leave both a wet gooey mess

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There once was a man named Sprockett
Who walked with his hand in his pocket
He was able to hide
What he was doing inside
Till he shot off like a Fourth of July rocket.

The inventor Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson

Motorcycle Corporation, died and went to heaven. At

the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been

such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the

world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone

you want in Heaven.


"Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said,

"I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took Arthur

to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.


Arthur then asked God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor

of woman?" God said, "Ah, yes." "Well," said Arthur,

"professional to professional, you have some major

design flaws in your invention.


1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion.


2. It chatters constantly at high speeds.


3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.


4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust.


And finally,


5. The maintenance costs are outrageous.


Hmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied

God, "hold on."


God went to his Celestial super computer, typed in a

few words and waited for the results. The computer

printed out a slip of paper and God read it.


"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,"

God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers,

more men are riding my invention than yours."

sorry that was 8575 which makes this 8576 lol

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haven't posted here in a few days

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should i try to make up for it now?

8596...lol..by not paying attention. :D Thanks for getting us back on track.
~Eliza

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