I hate having Tess right above me like this.

I hate reading the Pixies posts in the morning!

I have floppy ears like a hound dog.

I ate far too much for lunch.

I had a lousy, boring day and hope to never have another one like it!!

My neighbor has a giant gorilla that mows her yard.

We send our pet birds to poop on the cars of people we don't like.

I'm going to stand naked on main street today and offer my man whore services for $5 a shot. :sex:

I'd never be interested in that^^^ offer.

If ReaperWoman were to show up I wouldn't take the rest of the day off and give her freebies for as long as she wanted. :D

He'd probably charge me double... :p

An afternoon of passion with me would be worth at least $10.

Huh! I think you're over-charging a little there, Papa...

Paying me for sex would definitely get any woman the most bang for her buck.

"the most bang for her buck" didn't make me laugh wickedly...