I have a beard that is 5 feet long.

I'm expecting a whole day of passionate lovemaking.

I ma not enjoying a long weekend.

i totally loved getting up at 4am for the 3 day in a row!

I plan on drowing myself in a vat of green beer tomorrow.

I hate long kisses in the dark.

Ronald McDonald is my father.

Today is "Shop in the Nude Day" in our town.

Nobody ever wears clothes where I live.

I'm so glad it's snowing here and my SO will be plowing all day.

It's just so great to feel really depressed at the weekend! I love it so much I can hardly bare to breathe!

I glued a shamrock to the end of my penis and dipped it in a mug of green beer today.

We're not going out for an Irish supper with our daughter and son-in-law from Peoria this evening.

Everyday after my morning smut games session I go around my block with a pair of panties on my head and my pecker hanging out yelling at the top of my lungs, "I'm the town pervert!"

I get so sick and tired of IowaMan steeling my panties and prancing about with his huge pecker flapping in the wind.